Popsicle
by Mad Maggie
Summary: This is just my dialog practice. So, it's just dialog.  I'm posting another one. So, these are basically turning into Dialog oneshots. XD
1. Chapter 1

**I just wanted to practice dialog before I posted my next story. :P. And my little sister has been eating these popsicles nonstop for days now, walking around telling the jokes off of them. So. Inspiration.**

**:3**

**Hope you guy's enjoy. And once again, it is just dialog practice.**

**Rawr!**

"What is a soft drink's favorite kind of music?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Just guess, bastard."

"Classical."

"That makes no damn sense."

"Jazz."

"Now I know your just trying to piss me off."

"Oh come on and tell me."

"Pop. Get it?"

"You're an idiot."

"I'm not the one that got the cheesy pop joke wrong. Twice."

"True, but you are the one that said it."

"And that matters...?"

"Matters because it came out of your brain. And that worries me."

"Actually it came from a popsicle stick."

"That isn't helping."

"What crawled up your ass today?"

"You mean besides the little tad-poles you let loose in there earlier?"

"Really. I mean..._really_?"

"Hey, I'm just stating the truth."

"Oh good to know."

"Maybe you should go read another popsicle stick. I bet you can find a joke about that somewhere."

"That's it, I'm leaving."

"Awww, but I was just getting warmed up. It's not my fault you can only stand me for a _short _period of time."

"Call me short one more time Colonel Bastard."

"Short."

"THAT'S IT!"

"Ahhhh! The small, scary midget monster is going to get me!"

"Bite me."

"You wish."

"Actually..."

"Oh god, don't tell me you're _still _horny."

"Ok then I wont tell you, got any lotion I can borrow?"

"...Can I watch?"

"Nope."

"Mean."

"Bastard."

"Small."

"Ohh...Oh god that feels good."

"..."

"Ahhhmmmm...Oh harder..."

"Now that's it."

"Wha-"

"You're screwed now."

"Don't have to tell me twice."

"Hey Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Colonel Bastard."

"Hey Ed?"

"Oh good god what?"

"You seem irritated..."

"S'cause I'm all hot and bothered, and _you're_ sitting with _your_ hand down _my_ pants, doing _nothing_."

"Oh read a popsicle stick."

"I'll read your popsicle stick."

"How the hell did you even make that dirty?"

"Easy, the stick part made me think of your long pole."

"Dear god, the popsicle did lasting damage to your brain cells."

"Pardon...?"

"Ed, I hate to tell you this, but you have innuendo-aitis."

"Hey Roy?"

"Hmm?"

"What kind of medication does a pillow take?"

"...Do I even want to know?"

"A pill!"

"..."

"Hey Roy?"

"I'm so afraid to know now..."

"I'm naked."


	2. Roy vs Lunch

"What are you eating?"

"I have no idea, I found it in the fridge this morning."

"It's brown."

"I noticed."

"What does it taste like?"

"My brain keeps trying to answer that same question."

"That's not a good sign."

"Meh, it's food."

"IT'S MOVING!"

"Liar."

"Worth a shot."

"So why are you here Mustang?"

"I came to give you an assignment."

"You could have waited till I was in the office. Why come here now?"

"I missed you."

"Awww. I feel loved. Can I have a kiss?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

"I'm not putting my lips where that brown gunk has been."

"So your discriminating against my lunch?"

"Maybe."

"Fine. No sex for you."

"How did we get from brown gunk to using sex as blackmail?"

"It's us. It's going to happen weather we know it or not."

"So no sex then?"

"Nope."

"What if I said please?"

"What if I eat more of the brown stuff?"

"Ed. It's me or the brown gunk."

"But, my heart is torn. I can't decide. If you love me you wont make me decide."

"What if I promise to wear the tie and nothing but the tie?"

"I'm sorry brown gunk. It never would have worked out anyway."

"So you're breaking up with your lunch?"

"And I'm even going to brush my teeth."

"Tie wins every time."

"Hey Roy?"

"Hm?"

"I think you forgot a very important detail in your master plan."

"What's that?"

"You owe me from last time."

"What last time?"

"When you said we can have office sex if I clean up the kitchen."

"...And?"

"I'm cashing in both today."

"...Shit."

"Exactly."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing pumpkin."


End file.
